Don't go Changing.. to try and please me

Before you begin reading, press play. Think of it as a soundtrack..

Now we all know that one ( or more) girl who morphs into the person her loved one wants her to be when she's in a relationship. "My boyfriend doesn't want me to cut my hair, he likes it long" or " I wear more dresses because my husband prefers me in them" I understand that you should try your best to please your partner and looking pretty for them is important but, ladies. . . you should do what makes you feel happy. I'm not trying to propose that you do everything opposite of your partner's wishes and thus ruin the relationship but, why change everything about yourself in order to please someone? Shouldn't they love you " just the way you are"? If that means cutting off your waist length hair or wearing jeans more than dresses, its totally normal. I can honestly testify that every time I've experimented with my hair ( and that is a lot of times!) I have never consulted anyone but myself. In the end, you are the one wearing the hair/clothes/weight not the other person. Take control of your own life, your partner should be there to encourage and enrich your life not tell you who to be.

xox-S

The Case of the disappearing man...

The story you are about to hear is something that perhaps you yourself have experienced. If not, you may know of someone who has. Either way be prepared to enter. . . (cue music) The Twighlight Zone

The first time I experienced a phenomenon like this was back in late 2002. While working at an outlet mall clothing store, I was approached by a handsome customer and we exchanged numbers. At the time I was a teen and over the course of the following 5 months I fell head over heels for the guy who was 19, lived on his own and had a car, I really thought I was a lucky girl.

then it happened

Merely a week before my Senior Prom, tickets and dress bought, I received a mid afternoon call from my boyfriend whom we'll call " Ross", he was just getting out of work and promised to return my call later that night. Two hours, three hours, Four hours went by and still no call back from my boy. My impatience grew and the following day I called his cellphone and alas, disconnected!

Fast forward to the present year, I am speaking with a girlfriend and she begins to tell me about an amazing boy she met at the pool in her gym. For several weeks they shared a passionate connection and then all the sudden he moves Downtown and POOF! disappeared.

Has this happened to you or someone you know?

Bar games 101

This one's a keeper, on my nifty iGoogle application today I came to a link entitled 5 ways to get a girl to buy you a drink.

I must admit, the concept is genius and although I have not heard or witnessed it myself, I can't help but think how many of us ladies have actually bought a guy a drink at the bar? Here's a quick recap incase you can't click the link yourselves and ways for us as the ladies to avoid the sneaky methods.

Tell a story where a different woman bought you a drink. Of course, you can’t say, "So I was in this bar and this woman bought me a drink" and then smirk like an idiot

Ladies this is your chance to answer with a quick witted remark, " That's funny you say that, when I go to bars, guys buy me drinks too"

Follow up with a challenge, laced with presuppositions: "I doubt if when you buy me a drink it'll be that exciting but I'm sure that with a little creativity we can think of something..." If you look closely, this is a sentence made up of presuppositions. A presupposition is a statement where you assume that the person is going to do something.

Oh girls, nothing more fun than bruising a boy's ego with a little competition.. remind him you are smarter than his games, " how about you buy me a drink and i'll buy you one.. think of it as a supply and demand"

Assume her generosity. If a girl happens to say something like, “Do you want to go get a drink?” or “Let’s go get drinks” say: “Yeah! That sounds great, I’ll take a jack and coke” or whatever drink you want. If you say this with conviction as if you really mistook her meaning, it'll probably work, because most people won't say "No, I meant YOU buy" or "Give me the cash for it." If it doesn't work, fall back on "You get the first round and I’ll get the second." You'll end up paying for the next round but hey, you still got her to treat, rather than you buying everything.

Okay ladies, it's getting down to the nitty gritty here, A) this guy is lame and B) release him back to the ocean gently

Play the 5 questions game. This is a common game played by pick up artists, but there is no reason you cannot use it to just have fun.

do the fake giggle and then say, " listen, it was great meeting you but I have to go to the restroom, thanks again for the convo"
Truth is, a guy who plays pick up games is not one you want to date, or marry even. Sure, his sense of humor is there but you can laugh at funny stories or his quips without the blatantly cheesy pickup attempts.

so, next time you're out and a guy tries these tricks you'll be armed ;)

xox- S

Multitaskamist blog

Hey readers, I have begun a second blog site entitled, The Multitaskamist. It will be perfect to share with your guys and girls alike and I am kicking off the blog with a HUGE challenge.. go now to check it out and stay tuned to both here and the new blog.

Thanks for being faithful
xox-S

Julie& Julia: A blogger's version of 300

Okay, so I have to admit I may be exaggerating just a little but, truth be told, film Julie&Julia
truly inspired me to continue my journey and dreams to one day be nationally published. Julie Powell, the writer whose blog inpired the film was just your average 9-5er workin for the weekends with dreams of writing a book. With a "deranged assignment" as Powell puts it, she vows to blog and cook 365 days and all 542 recipes of Julia Child's cookbook, Mastering the Art of French Cooking.

I loved the movie's realistic view of blogging and the power of commitment. There are days (sometimes weeks!) that I do not want to blog. Mondays through Fridays in my cubicle, I dream about making a difference the lives of readers worldwide with my droll humor. Imagining my future like a Middle Schooler imagines their life as a married mom with a huge Barbie mansion. Julie Powell taught me the importance of dedication to her readers, commitment even when you don't feel like writing and that being a writer requires patience and a little insanity.

So, stay tuned for the blog series I have been brewing for about a week. This is my next step in following Julie Powell and millions of other amazing bloggers across the internet.

Thanks for actually reading and I am so excited and empowered more than ever
xox
-s

They say girls love the bad boys and for the most part of my dating career it has rang true. In Elementary school I liked the boys who were mean to me, as long as they had a nice smile, and even up until my last long term relationship my craving for a "bad boy" continued. As I age, however ( gracefully might I add) My cravings have started shifting from bad boys to witty intelects with emphasis on the witty. Blame The Office' Jim Harper, Arrested Development, Paul Rudd movies, and Jason Mraz for turning me onto the funny, not totally gorgeous guys. I mean if the smile is there so am I.

What "type" of guy do you crave? The mysterious, devishly handsome bad boy that gives your heart a wild ride or the stable bookwormish funny nerd that quotes Dwight from the Office?

The good, the bad and the glad-I-didn't- get set-up- with-that-guy!

After a short 9 month dating and engagement period, one of my girlfriends tied the knot this past August 2nd. The night of the bachelorette party ended with a co-ed rendezvous at a Karaoke club in Universal's City Walk. So, it was this fateful night that I was to meet my very own betrothed

Usually you hear this kind of plot in episodes of Seinfeld or Friends but, of course, it has to happen to me. Yet again confirming that my life plays out like a sit-com no matter how much I try to avoid it. So it wasn't any surprise to me to realize that "the friend" was not my type at all which brings me to write this warm hearted letter to all those helpful friends:

Dearest coupled friend/older co-worker/mom, aunt, grandma/pastor:

I really do appreciate you trying to introduce me to any man that isn't wearing a wedding ring (and some that already are!) and I can see where you would want an amazingly hot Latina like myself to bless the lives of those men with my wit, enthusiasm and all around great personality . . . however, I really don't think your taste and my taste are exactly similar (read: completely opposite)
I know your idea of a handsome, strapping young man is a person with little or no unibrow, dog breath and with a place to stay ( even though it's mom and dad's place). My idea of a mate,on the other hand is taller than me, great smile and sense of humor. Arrogant, narrow-minded and socially awkward are not exactly how I picture my husband.
so, my dearest friend, grandma, aunt, co-worker, I am aware of your good intentions but, from now on let's hope things will bloom between myself and one of your friends naturally. Inviting both of us over at the same event and allowing us to spark on our own is one thing but, sending the guy pictures of my Facebook is not.

Thank you so so so much for thinking of me and again I appreciate it

xoxo
Shelly

Until next time.. xox -S

Return after a long pause. . .

It is my horrible fault that I have left you readers without updated blogs for a ridiculous amount of time ( since March!) I have been a little busy with life and everytime an amazing topic came to mind, I was either too tired, busy or lazy to actually write it. However, that time has ended.

In the following series of blogs I will catch you up to the very latest ( think of it as a life DVR). Topics to follow will include:

The fix up that thankfully did NOT occur
How fast is too fast?
and an interactive piece entitled, "First date horrors" where you guys will share your worst date experiences.

Stay tuned because I am back and ready