Once upon a date... or two...or five dates (you get the point!), One of my girlfriends and I have special nicknames that we adopt while we are out partying to avoid the creepy Facebook Friend request from guys we determine are not that cute. It all started last summer ( 2009) and it has worked fabulously well...except this one time. I was at a lounge I frequent often with some of the girls, including my fellow alias user who, for the sake of remaining anonymous we will call Andrea. There we were, dancing and having a great time. After a while, Andrea and I decided to go into the middle of the dance floor as usual and while we were there, we were approached by two grenades. Now, for those of you who are not familiar with the reality show, Jersey Shore ( trust me, it's a guilty pleasure!), a grenade is a not so cute guy or girl who tries to hit on you. Andrea and I are known to be friendly and outgoing girls so we don't necessarily turn down the guys... we just tell them our fake names. One of the guys, balding and reeking of Old Spice and Corona beers, decides to attempt a conversation while we dance to a Merengue song ( we are at Latin night).
Old Spice: " So Betty (clearly NOT my real fake name, gotta protect my identity), are you from around here?"
Me ( as Betty): "No, I'm actually here on vacation from Chicago"
Old Spice: "Oh, too bad...when do you leave?"
Me: "Tomorrow, actually. This is our last night out"
Old Spice: " Aw, that's too bad! Hope you had a great vacation."
Me: " Yes I did, thank you!"A couple songs later, Andrea and I escaped the grip of the creepy men and headed home.
Two Weeks Later...
I go back to the same lounge to meet up another girlfriend for a quick martini and catch up on life. This time, it is a mellow night so we decide to sit out on the patio by the bar. As we are sitting there, talking about our lives and catching up I start to feel as if someone is staring at me from across the bar. I don't know if you've ever had the feeling but it is an eerie chill that you feel. Unsuspecting I glance to my right and the coast is clear-just cougars and sugar daddies flirting over martinis. Relieved, I glance to my left and THERE HE IS! Baldy Old Spice!! Sitting merely 4 people away from me, staring right at me! his head shaking in disappointment. At this point, I have no idea how to react, Should I acknowledge his existence there, pretend I don't see him or just walk away? I text message my friend sitting next to me to grab the check and meet me by the bathroom and an explanation will come shortly and I head to the bathroom. I try to slither through the crowd as swiftly as possible and when I finally get to the bathroom at the end of the hall I walk in like I've been holding it in for an entire roadtrip. Minutes later, I figure the coast is clear so I decide to wait for my friend outside the bathrooms, I pull the door open with a sigh of victory and right before my eyes is Old Spice himself, walking out of the Men's room directly across from me! What are the odds?!
Old Spice: " Betty... back for another vacation?" ( clearly, he's not convinced)
Me: " Yea, my job has offices here, I come often."Before he can reply, I walk away and disappear into the crowd.
and Old Spice was never dated by me again.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Never use fake names or identities in places you go to often. More than likely you will run into the same guy twice.
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