*names and situations have been changed to avoid getting sued
Once upon a date... I was asked out by a charming musician whom I had not known for too long. On the night of our date, I was pleased to see that he arrived promptly, dressed in a quite fashionable ensemble. Although at first sight it seemed slightly too metrosexual for me, I decided to put my critical thoughts to rest and enjoy the night. After a wonderful sushi dinner, interesting conversation about musical influences and ourselves we headed to a lounge to hear some live music while sipping on red wine. Three glasses of Pinot Noir later, it was time to pay the bill and call it a night. When the check arrived, my date decided it was the perfect time to empty his pockets of every lint, coin and receipt that resided in his skinny jean pockets. At first I was confused as to why he couldn't merely pull out his debit card without unloading his 'junk drawer' from his pockets onto our table. But, before I could say anything-I saw it-
A clear tube of glitter lip gloss
sitting amidst the rubble and trash, glistening in the dim lights like liquid diamonds. At first, I thought Does he think showing me his 'pimp status' is impressive? so, jokingly I asked " Is that your lipgloss?" to which he replied proudly. " Yes, I love my lips to look shiny."
My face, unimpressed, remained paralyzed for a few seconds while my brain's neurons scrambled to make sense of the situation. Before my brain could provide a well developed answer I blurted out, "Are you bi-sexual?" That didn't mull over too well, his face, which was by now as offended as mine was did not flinch as he answered me a stark "NO"
15 minutes of awkward driving later, we arrived at my apt and bid each other farewell with the false promises of "hanging out again" and the makeup-toting musician was never dated by me again.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
If his lipgloss has more glitter than yours, let him sparkle on his own. Never loan a boyfriend your makeup.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment