Dating Myself: Day 3

Saturday was spent in the company of close friends. In the morning, I had coffee and a morning chat on the porch of my friend Jonathan's quaint Downtown Orlando home. Later, I went to my best friend, Leslie's new town home and finished off our Saturday together.

We headed to a local spot called House of Beers to watch Leslie's guitar teacher play some live music and were joined by another close friend, Anthony. The venue, which boasts its 48 flavors of micro brews, was a completely new experience to me. We decided to order a flight of 6 different types of beer and that's when it dawned on me: Amidst the laughter, great music and beer tasting, there was an interesting concept on sampling the different lagers and ales.

Sampling is a method that is overlooked when it comes to dating. We often conjure up a type of person we are most attracted to and never venture far from the self imposed "type". Even when it is clear that the type of person you are normally attract to is not really a good match for you. Tasting new "types" is a daunting task and often causes unnecessary anxiety but, who knows if that's the key to finding your true match?

Some of the beers such as the Kona were dark and similar to Guiness but upon tasting you were shocked into the cold coffee taste of the lager. While others such as the Delirium Tenrums ( spell check necessary) were a light blonde ale that of a typical Budlight but, tricked your taste buds into thinking you were eating Gerber's Banana baby food with the subtle hint of bananas.

Just as the beers appeared to look a one way but tasted completely different, people may appear to be a certain way or have certain interests but only tasting will truly allow you to experience the full flavor of the person.

I ended my Saturday with only one thought on my mind: Have I been confining myself to a certain 'type' of guy?

Dating Myself Day 2: Soundtrack

I thought it was only fitting to soundtrack Day 2 with a little bit of Queen's Break Free.. :) releasing from the grip of Public opinion is a feat in itself

Dating Myself: Day 2

In an effort to commemorate my new journey I decided to begin by
cutting off the past... Literally!

BEFORE & AFTER

I had been contemplating the cut of mid back length locks for several

weeks but never had the guts to go through with it partially because

it took forever to grow and also because of public opinion.

Today, however, I decided to do what I wanted to and kick public

opinion to the curb and let me tell you, it was liberating!! Even

though my heart pounded loudly in my chest, I face my fear of

conformity and chopped it all off and now I feel lighter, healthier

(my hair, that is) and ready to take on my future without having to

ask the opinion of others

"May you have less Ex's than Oh!'s "

-S

Dating Myself Soundtrack: Day 1

Thought I'd soundtrack my journey too.. This is the perfect song for my mood today.

Dating Myself: Day 1

After weeks of contemplation and hesitation, I have decided to take the plunge into dating...myself. Although I am a big believer in dating and obviously am not about to join a convent anytime soon, I will be taking a sabbatical of sorts from the mating/dating world to re-discover myself without the distraction of trying to impress anyone else.

So, I begin as any blogger hoping to change the world with their words should: by watching Julie & Julia, the film starring Meryll Streep and Amy Adams that inspired many writers ( including myself) to put their thoughts in cyberspace with hopes that someone will read it and have a life-changing experience. After the film, I will get my second dose of motivation with my latest and greatest read of 2010, Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I will attempt to channel these dedicated women who once searched for their personal change as I quest for mine amidst the failed relationship memories and pre-conceived notions.

As with any exclusive dating relationship, I will challenge myself to listen to myself, encourage and romance myself ( as cheesy as it may sound). I will dedicate two days a week to go on self-dates and examine who I am as a mate. Be forewarned, if you know me beyond this blog, I will get rather candid and it may get mushy at times so, don't say I didn't warn you.

So, until July 31st, 2010 consider me in a relationship... off the market... taken or better yet- in construction and stay tuned to read every step of my attempt to date myself.

Fathers Know Best

10 Life lessons taught by my Grandfather, Father, Uncles and other Male influences:

In honor of Father's day this Sunday I thought I'd pay tribute to all the fathers biological or not who have truly made an impact in my dating/romantic life. Whether or not you have a relationship with your biological father, there is no denying that it can determine how you are as a lover and mate in the future.

1. Make your own living so you will never have to depend on anyone else: My grandfather always taught to never put yourself in a situation where you need anyone to sustain you financially.
   
2. If you love your own body, others will love it too. I was once reminded that men don't necessarily go for the hottest girls in the room but, rather the most confident ones.
   
3. Do everything with excellence or don't do it at all. Yet another one of my grandfather's wise words. Never settle for mediocre.
   
4. Be with who makes YOU happy, nobody else. My dad believes it doesn't matter what anyone thinks of your partner as long as you are happy.
   
5. On a dinner date- eat normally! No guy wants to date someone who doesn't eat! Heard this by many male influences. Don't choose salads when you really want wings. Being genuine is more attractive than superficial.
   
6. "Beer before liquor never sicker, liquor before beer never fear" My uncle Tony told me this when I started college...Thank God he did ha!
   
7. Even if you are married- strive to look put together: Not sure who said this but, don't give up on looking nice because you've settled down.
   
8. Don't give away the entire movie during the 'previews': in essence, always keep an element of mystery to you.
   
9. "Mixed signals" are really not that complicated. They are just not what you want to hear: If you are getting 'mixed signals' It usually means they really aren't that into you. Throw the fish back in the water and keep fishing for more.
   
10. Age isn't that important when dating: My father has proved this advice with his dating selection in recent years. If there is a connection, other factors tend to be secondary.
    

Destination: Expiration??

There are few conversations in life that send chills down my spine- and not in a good way.

The " Let's talk" talk: meaning, you will most likely be single following the 'talk'

The " What have you been up to lately?" talk: often done in groups of same-sex peers (i.e girl's nights or High School reunions). These talks are usually done to confirm the information they already know about you by Facebook stalking you.

The best, and more applicable talk for this occasion is the "Your clock is ticking" talk. That friendly reminder that our relatives give us when we have passed the age in which they were: A) Married, B) pregnant with you or C) had their first divorce.

My friendly reminders began once I entered my twenties but, seem to be increasing their frequency as the years progress. This can only mean that if I am unmarried by 30, I can forecast the talk to occur twice weekly.

My grandmother likes to remind me that " Women should get married between 20-25"

My grandfather once advised that " I better get a move on it before all the good men are gone"

My Father loves to indirectly advise that " I should be on the search "

Just because I am 25 and unmarried does not mean I will never be married. Granted, I understand that being the eldest in my entire family comes with a lot of pressure on being the first to go to college, get a good job and bear the great-grandchildren but, it does not mean I am going to be the end to the family lineage. Since when is there an expiration date on when to settle down?

Let's focus on the highlights of being unmarried past the "expiration date" such as:

1) Not gaining post marriage or pregnancy weight :although there is a high risk of 'party pounds'

2) Being easier to travel with: Weekend getaways are more doable

3) Having total control of your bank accounts: unfortunately this also means its only your debt

These 'friendly' reminders that my value is depreciating quicker than Toyotas made in recent years are not fun. However, since it is evident that more are to come it is always good to remember that the expiration date on any food usually has a week more than the date provided; There's still time.